Did you know that MTV used to show music videos?

The Turtle  March 11 2010 07:03:06 PM

A lot of formerly-interesting cable networks have basically turned into high-definition fecal matter.  And I've watched it happen.

I know many of my readers are my age, but for you younger ones, did you know that MTV used to show these things called "music videos?"  These were popular songs with moving pictures loosely coordinated to the music and lyrics?  They had these people called "vee-jays," who introduced the music videos and occasionally gave you some background on the music, the artist, and information about upcoming "albums," concert appearances and interviews.

Yeah, I know that's news to a lot of you.  Maybe some of you don't believe me, since MTV is pretty much now jam-packed with game shows, "reality" shows starring people you want to hit with a large stick, and a lot of commercials.  In fact, these innovations left no space to show actual "music videos," so these were shuffled off onto a little-known network called "MTV2," which has never been available on any basic or expanded cable plan to which I've ever subscribed.  Thus, the only place I see "music videos" is on YouTube.

A lot of networks have morphed or mutated from their original purpose.  Cable once held out the promise of enormous variety of choice, something for every taste.  Over the last 20 to 25 years, it's basically been perverted into eight or ten basic types of programming with microscopic differences among the channels.

How bad is it?

A&E:  started out as the "Arts & Entertainment Network."  Incredible though it may seem now, they broadcast concerts, opera, ballet, theatre, and all sorts of "arts and entertainment."  Turn it on now, and you'd guess it was the "Crime And More Crime Network."  Pretty much nothing but crime:  who did what to whom, when, when they got caught, and how they got caught.  Nothing artful about any of it.

TLC:  originally "The Learning Channel," they had lots of interesting shows on science, nature, and medicine.  Lately, they have crime and more crime, shows about midgets, shows about humans "miracle babies," and some crime.  I don't learn a damn thing from it.

TNN:  originally "The Nashville Network," this was the country-music version of the aforementioned MTV.  Country music videos, country dance shows, and more music videos.  They also showed The Grand Ole Opry and shows about country music history and interviews with the people who made it.  It morphed into "The National Network" and became the world's leading source for reruns of The Dukes Of Hazzard.  Is now known as SpikeTV and basically shows a lot of shit blowing up, interspersed with "professional wrestling."

CMT: originally "Country Music Television," and was where country music videos went after TNN evicted them.  Now, usually the source for old movies. reruns of home-makeover shows, and the occasional rerun of old television series.  No music videos detected.

National Geographic Channel:  I'll just say, since when does gang violence have anything to do with geography?  Somewhere, Jacques Cousteau wants to kick someone's ass.

History Channel:  Actually does occasionally show some history shows.  For a period in the late 1990s, showed way too many World War II programs, leading some to think Hitler was alive and running a cable network.  Lately, far too many shows about "monsters," and the history of the gangs featured on other cable networks, like "Arts & Entertainment."

truTV:  originally "CourtTV," they showed actual court trials.  This is the network that showed the infamous O.J. Simpson trial gavel-to-gavel.  Forget that now... it rarely shows any court action, mostly because a lot of the time court proceedings are skull-crushingly boring, and instead they show a lot of crime.  Oh, and some gang violence.  And some crime.

HLN:  originally "CNN Headline News," this actually showed headlines and short features to allow the main CNN network to focus on larger features and talking heads.  Lately, however, "HLN" stands for "The Missing White Baby Network" and tries to outdo itself in the shrillness and pinheadedness of their usually-female presenters, and the bad hairstyles thereof.

VH-1:  originally "Video Hits 1," this was MTV targeted to an older bracket of viewers, with music videos from older artists and bands from the class rock era.  now generally shows programming demonstrating how these artists have disappeared from the culture after their careers took a dump.  When Billy Idol dies, VH-1 will no longer have a reason to exist.


Some years ago, I got a note in my cable bill describing all the new, wonderful channels that the provider would be opening up.  As it turned there were three new religious channels and three new shopping channels.  I emailed them, suggesting that they just combine them all into The Jesus Shopping Network and use the other five channels for shit I actually wanted.  

I never heard back from them.
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